I am in no way a Bible scholar or qualified to teach. This is simply my experience and truth. These are my innermost thoughts, my heart, and ways God has helped me overcome. My prayer and hope, is that something in the words written,

will empower and encourage and comfort whoever stumbles upon it.

                                                                                   -Love Sara

Broken Vs. Victim

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

2 Corinthians 5:17.

I dedicated my life back to the Lord fully about 3 1/2 years ago. And it wasn’t until now that God showed me how often I still walk in shadows of a victimhood. That got me thinking: what is the difference between Broken by God and Broken? And how do I let go of victim and step fully into my identity in Christ?

Most of us grow up with the belief that brokenness means weak. The world tells us that if we show weakness we are of no value, that we must put on a brave face and march on. This burden becomes too heavy to carry, and without Jesus, over time we end up only becoming weaker.  I know this is true because I’ve lived it. It’s time to end this insanity!

In brokenness God can strengthen us. Until something breaks how can it be fixed? Without brokenness we never become aware of our weakness. Without awareness of this brokenness we never get to see our desperate need for Jesus. So why is what happened still so easily included in our new identity in Christ? Once we are made new, we don’t get to pick who we are anymore. He states our identity clearly: NEW!

When we choose Jesus, we also need to let go. He gives us a new identity, a future, and a hope. We cannot walk with him and carry our old beliefs at the same time. God wants us to hold onto him with both hands.

Brokenness before God is humbling, freeing, and a priceless gift many never get to receive. I am thankful every day that God let the world hurt me but not destroy me. I’m not saying it has been easy. Many hours, even years, I have spent angry at God. So angry that I tried to convince myself that The Bible, Jesus, Redemption, and grace were just stories made up for weak people. My journey to faith has not been easy or come quickly. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions, fear, excitement, disbelief and downright failure!

Broken by the world implies shame and loss of hope. It keeps us stuck in self-pity. Brokenness before God opens our hearts to overcome thru Gods redeeming rescue! -S

Lies We Tell Ourselves

God did not give us a spirit of fear and timidity,

but power, love, and self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7

      We were never created to live life as a victim. Will we get hurt? Yes. Will people deceive us, use us, betray us? Yes. We live in a world of free will. But that is no reason to live in fear or stay labeled victim. Whatever the fear, hope is the antidote. Hope is light, hope destroys the shadows and exposes all things, that includes what is true! Hope empowers and looks ahead to new possibilities, not to what once was. Same as darkness cannot coexist with light, lies must bow in the presence of truth, in the presence of the truth: You are Not a victim!

Some lies I’ve believed:

·    I have been hurt, abused, deceived so I can’t trust anyone

·    I need to stay victim because then I receive the attention and love I so crave.

Whenever we act on shame based fear, we are essentially giving away our power and letting those lies lead our life. We are living in a world of darkness.

“The light shines in the darkness,

and the darkness cannot overcome it.”

John 1:5

Victim not Victimhood

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed’”

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Jesus liked to use words besides: trouble, hardship, trials, persecuted; and the he asked: “do you want to be made well?” When I thought about this my eyes were opened. Jesus never focused on the fact that people had been victims, instead he focused on if they wanted healing. We have a choice. Do we want to hold onto what happened or what happens next? Jesus never intended for us to live as victims and he never saw us as victims either. He sees our past and wants to free us from old chains. He looks forward to our future and sees what could be if we trust him.

Victim implies shame. Victim is a place we can become stuck and

God never wanted us stuck in the shadow of shame, but free in his Redeeming grace. To identify as “victim” holds us captive to someone else’s actions. It gives the past power over our future. But when we face what happened and better yet share it, we embrace our power. We get to say “I don’t live there anymore”, and better yet we empower others to do the same. We live in victory not victimhood.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this word you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

 John 16:13

Life will take us into some dark places. Some we choose and some unfortunately choose us. My faith in Jesus gives me hope that all the pain has not been for nothing. It has given me a deep understanding and compassion for the hurting, it has taught me to face fears I used to run from. I now know God holds my future. The pressure is off!

Pain has opened my ears to hear Gods voice and given me an opportunity to learn to trust him even when nothing he is asking me makes sense in the moment. As I said before God looks ahead and sees our future. He wats us to always grown and growing usually hurts. I’ve begun to see my regular cry sessions as simply watering my crops. Wherever I go I want to leave behind the love of God and as the song goes “nothing grows without the rain”.

“whatever is born of God overcomes the world, this is the victory that has overcome the world-our faith."

 1 John 5:45

Sometimes the more we push forward to know God and find our purpose in Him, the harder it gets. The enemy does not want overcomers, he wants victims. He doesn’t want us to rise up to be the warriors God has called us to be. It’s been said the stronger the person, the stronger the storm. Well how’s that for encouragement? I’ll take it! But I know it is Christ in me that is my true strength. Let him be yours!

        How do we move from victim to Victory?

“Everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the VICTORY that had overcome the world, even our faith.”

1 John 5:14.

So how do we move from victim to victory? We don’t! God does it for us. When we choose to follow Him! Gods will is not that we hold onto “victim” but that we acknowledge the wrong, feel the pain, and let Him heal it. There is freedom to be found when we accept what has happened rather than run from it like it never happened. God doesn’t want us to pretend to have overcome, he says we HAVE overcome, in Him, ALL things.

We move into victory thru belief in Christ. On our own we remain hopeless, lost, and longing to be filled with worth. In Christ we move forward in His strength and not our own. Our broken hearts become a catalyst of strength. By choosing to serve the Lord with a humble and broken heart, He is able to take us into the fold of His love. Our brokenness becomes joy!

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 15:13

For those who do not believe or those who choose to oppose Christ, (like I have done many times), brokenness becomes a deep paralyzing pain and hopelessness. I can definitely attest to that and I know I am not alone.

I have held onto my victim mentality for a long time. At times I thought it served me well, but I was wrong! We cannot hold onto our victim self and live in the victory God wants for us at the same time. How do we live out our God given dreams or step into our calling with faith and confidence in who he made us if we still believe we are victims? It’s not possible! In him we are more than conquers.

“In all these things we are more than conquers through him who loves us.” Romans 8:37

      Whether we believe God or not, guess who is right? Either our past defines us, or God does. We may have been a victim, but we can’t live there if we want to grow in our identity in Christ. 

“In this world you will have trouble, take heart I have overcome the world.”

John 16:13

When we hold onto the victim mentality, we usually do one of two things: push people away so they never see our weakness or draw them into the pain and dysfunctional mindset with us. God has showed me that I was the person who used pain do draw others in. I fed on the comfort and pity they offered me, and used it to fill a need for love that I was so hungry for. But in doing that I was never able to give them back that love, I just took it. I pushed all the gifts, strength, and love God had placed in me and let it just lay dormant, unused and hidden. I was scared if they saw my strength they would leave because they would think I didn’t need them anymore.

Abuse either leaves us wanting no one to love us or needing everyone to approve us. We try to fill the wound with a sense of safety. Knowing that if we keep the dark hole in our hearts empty or temporarily satisfied, somehow that will keep us safe. But what if we went to God first and let Him fill that hole? What if we looked at what He says about us and believed it?

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out all fear. If we are afraid, it is froe fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love."

1 John 4:18

How do we fill an empty space or heal a broken heart with someone we can’t even see? The first step for me was trusting him with my fear and doubts. I literally told God I’d give him 30 days. I half expected Him to show up.  Even in my doubt, He did! Thru His patience, grace, and refusal to let me stay complacent, I have grown. God’s love is perfect. It will never disappoint, hurt, or betray. He meets us where we are but does not let us stay there. He says: walk with me! Grow with me! Let me show you what real love is!

When Gods Love Becomes Enough

      The first thing that happened for me when I gave my heart back to God was a change in my thinking. God showed me when I called myself things like worthless, I was actually sinning. How still and silent the atmosphere becomes at the word “sin”. None of us want to admit that we are sinners, but who can say they never fall short? We all have fallen short of the glory of God, by definition we are sinners.

      When we hold onto lies and ignore his truth, we are essentially calling him a liar. We take his sacrifice and stomp on it. We make his sacrifice worthless. We take what was most precious to God and say it wasn’t good enough. How it must break his heart to see us throw away what was so important for him to give us that God let his son die to make it possible.

But here’s the amazing part. God knew that we would do this. He is so good that no matter how many times we fail or run from him he is waiting with mercy that is new every morning. When we confess our sin, he is faithfully waiting to forgive us. He takes our heart of stone and makes it new. He welcomes us into a new identity rooted in Him. Not by our actions but because of His grace!

“All are justified freely by his grace

through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ.”

Romans 3:24

Let the Transformation Begin!

“Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world; but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Romans 12:2

This is how we fill the empty space that “victim” used to occupy. We must replace the old with the new. As new creations, we also have new thoughts, minds & identities. Meditate on these things! Test these things! When we fill our minds with truth there is little room for fear. Fear and faith cannot co-exist.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think in these things.”

 Philippians 4:8

How Do We Follow Christ?

·    Accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. If you haven’t done this yet it’s as simple just telling God in your own words that you need him. You have fallen short and need him in your life. You don’t need a fancy dialog; God knows your heart.

·    Love God, love others, love yourself. You may say “I do that already”. But until you have felt the healing grace the Lord, and spent time in the word, it’s hard to understand the magnitude of his definition of love. Its like becoming a parent. Once that baby is born you have a new understanding of love. God takes it to a whole new level.

·    Pray and read scripture. Don’t know where to start? Ask God to show you. When I began searching, I would just ask God to show me what I needed to know and then I’d open my Bible. I’ve kept those the verses. Today they are so precious that I keep them locked in my safe.

·    Find a church. Fellowship. Join a Bible study. Surround yourself with Christians who can help you grow and encourage you.

·    Be thankful and be obedient. Without gratitude it’s hard to be obedient. When we find ourselves in hard places and think we have a better Idea than God, it’s so easy to get bitter and do it our way. Like my little brother always said, “When we don’t agree with God, guess who’s right?”

·    Trust God in all things. This final step encompasses all the others. Without trusting God, how can we follow what we cannot see?

Remember God doesn’t want us to live broken as the world sees broken. He wants us to humble ourselves before him so he can repair all the broken and make us new.

“Father of compassion and God of comfort who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in trouble with the comfort we ourselves received from God”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4